big wide hole!

very strange feeling inside me I don't know what is it exactly


and i don't know why, but its a question i wanna ask it for every one who may read this;


if he/she ever felt the same,


when you feel that you cant breath,


when you feel that you are alone even you are around ed by many people like friends, work mate, family, etc.....


when you feel that you have nothing even you have every thing any one wish to have!


when you feel that you are useless even that many things wont go on wit out your effort


I feel that there is a very deep hole inside my soil


which make me feel that I'm really alone,


asking my self what is the reason for this feeling, and the worse that this feeling is very long time ago,


maybe before i feel like this there was something different or i was different or the people around me were different, really i don't know


all i really miss is that old taste of my life, which was with me even when i was alone and even when i was useless,


how i was useless & lonely? when my Hart was empty i was the happiest one on earth!


some times when we are in love we feel that we own the whole world in a hug or a kiss or a smooth words from the heart, we feel that we own the hole world with a worm strong feeling out of our ability to describe them.


when you find some one on this earth, and the only one who had the ability to treat you exactly as the way you ever dreamed of,


a feeling can own you even when you had nothing and when you are useless


but when every thing is done or lets say just ended!


a very big wide hole inside you ganna show up!


and the biggest problem that what ever you do or how ever you try; you find your self cannot fill this hole, whom ever you may meet, what ever you try to do


and that's i think the same reason for what i feel now!


i try many timeto hout this love which made me feel as how i describe before, i can be strong not only strong but stronger! and that what i can show it to all but cant deal with it with my self! its complicated but that how i feel!


okky now i have every thing any one would ever wish and i don't mean only money and all the related things to that! but also my family my work, and before all that my friends!


but when i say that I'm not totally confused by it! i don't feel that all this is enough! and i wish to know why?


is cause of that ascent love!


when i was in love i was without that much of friends as now or even without that real meaning of friends as now!


i was very far of my family, and i was out of thinking of work, money and all what related to, .


i was only drown to love! careless to any other thing in my life!


and here I am now with that feeling!